Pope Benedict the XVII sat nervously in his chambers as the papal conclave was about to commence. He had a lot on his mind, but his biggest concern was his heated argument with Cardinal Fortunato Frezza. Fortunato was convinced he was the most qualified to be the next Pope and had been vying for the position for months. As the cardinals filed into the room, Benedict couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. He tried to push it to the back of his mind, but it lingered like a bad taste in his mouth. And then, as if fate was playing a cruel joke on him, he was handed a goblet of wine that had been secretly dosed with LSD by the jealous cardinal. As he sat for his portrait, he took a sip of the wine that had been offered to him and immediately felt a strange sensation coursing through his body.
The colors in the room began to shift and swirl, and he felt himself lifting up from his chair and floating into the air. Suddenly, he was no longer in the room at all. Instead, he was somewhere else entirely, somewhere beyond time and space. And there, amid the swirling chaos, He looked up, and there was GOD, sitting on a throne made of rainbows.
"Pope Benedict, I have been waiting for you," GOD said.
The Pope was surprised. "You have?"
"Yes," GOD replied. "I have been watching over you and am pleased with what you have done so far. But there is still more work to be done. I want you to be the Pope who breaks all the rules and shows the world that the Church is not afraid of change."
The Pope felt a surge of energy and excitement. He knew that this was his calling. So Pope Benedict started by hosting raves at St. Peter's Basilica, with music that was loud and vibrant, and full of life. He encouraged the faithful to dance, celebrate, and let go of their worries and fears. And he started a new tradition of blessing people with glow sticks, using them to light up the darkness and bring joy to all those who were present.
As the night wore on, the party grew wilder and more ecstatic. Then, finally, the Pope took to the decks, spinning a mix of techno and gospel that had the whole place jumping. He blessed people with glow sticks instead of holy water. He allowed women to become priests, and he endorsed same-sex marriage. And when it was over, he knew he had made the right choice.
The world was shocked but also delighted. People came from all over the world to attend the Pope's raves, and they found a new sense of joy and spirituality in the music and the dancing. And so, the legacy of Pope Benedict the XVII was born. He became known as the Pope of Love and Light, and his teachings inspired millions of people to find their own spiritual path.
In the end, it was clear that LSD had opened the Pope's mind to new possibilities and new ways of thinking, and the world was all the better for it.
